Being accepted vs. being genuine: who are we really trying to be?

  There’s an almost desperate urge to be accepted. And that urge, contrary to what many might think, wasn’t born with TikTok or social media – it goes way back. There have always been trends, fashions, and codes of behaviour that determined who was “in” and who was “out”. Just look at the ‘80s and ‘90s, or even further back. Coco Chanel, for instance, revolutionized women’s clothing in the 20th century, and the truth is, ever since then, fashion has become not just a reflection of the times, but a mirror of our deep human desire to fit in.
  Still, there’s something about the current generation – especially young people constantly exposed to social media – that feels different. Maybe it’s not a new phenomenon, but a more intense one. Trends don’t last months anymore – they last weeks or even days. And suddenly, being accepted means constantly chasing the next trend: whether it’s the right haircut, the must-have outfit, the viral song, the holiday destination or the trendy restaurant. Liking something isn’t enough – it has to be trending, backed by thousands of likes and have potential to hit the For You Page.
  And the strangest – or perhaps saddest – part is that even without using TikTok, we all understand the rul
es of the game. We know the algorithm favours those who follow the wave. That if you want to grow, you have to align with what’s trending. And since nowadays “growing” often means “being noticed”, it’s easy to see why so many people give up parts of themselves just to fit the mould.
  The problem begins when that mould starts spilling out beyond the screen. When we stop asking ourselves whether we actually like a certain piece of clothing, or if we just wear it because everyone else does. When we do our makeup, style our hair, dress or speak a certain way not because it reflects us, but because it’s what’s expected. When, deep down, we stop being genuine just to be accepted – as if those two things couldn’t coexist.
  I once saw a group of teenage boys standing outside a school, and they all had the same haircut, the same trousers, the same sweatshirt. Literally the exact same look. And the strangest part? Some of them – based on their skin tone, hair type or facial features – clearly didn’t suit that style. But no one seems to question it. No one stops to ask: “Does this actually suit me?” – because the priority isn’t what fits us. The priority is not standing out.
  And that raises an important question: to what extent is this need to belong making us lose what makes us unique?
  Following trends isn’t a problem in itself. Fashion can be fun, creative – even a form of self-expression. The problem is when it starts to define us to the point where we can no longer tell the difference between what we truly like and what we like just because it’s “in”.
  The truth is: being accepted brings comfort. But being genuine brings peace. And at some point, we have to choose between the two. Or at least try to find a balance. There’s nothing wrong with wearing the trend of the moment – as long as it’s because we want to, not because we feel we have to. As long as we don’t lose our sense of self in the process. Because in the end, following every trend might get us a lot of likes… but if we no longer recognize ourselves in the mirror, what’s the point?