“Whoever wants it, finds a way”?
There are phrases we hear so often they become almost universal truths. This is one of them. It pops up in films, books, songs, and even in advice supposedly given with the best intentions. But the truth is, behind its apparent simplicity hides a dangerous idea - that everything depends solely on our will. As if wanting something badly enough were all it took. As if it all came down to the strength of our feelings or the persistence of our efforts. Life, however, doesn’t work like that. I’ve written before about the illusion of meritocracy - this belief that those who work hard always succeed. And in relationships, it plays out the same way: wanting isn’t al ways enough. Trying isn’t always sufficient. There are variables bigger than our will - like distance, time, maturity, context, and circumstance. In my own experience, I understood this quite clearly. The first time I dated my ex, we really wanted it to work. The feelings were there, and so was the intention. ...
