Generation Z: Why do we feel so out of place?
This text is mainly for those
who, like me, feel completely different from the people in their age group. Who
look around and don’t recognize themselves in the behaviours, conversations, or
priorities of those their own age. Who feel lonelier in a crowd than when
they’re truly alone. And who sometimes wonder whether the problem lies with
them or the world around them.
I’m 20 years old. Right now, I have no social media, I don’t watch short-form videos, and I don’t relate to most of the content I see floating around online. I enjoy the occasional alcoholic drink, but I don’t like clubs or noisy places. I don’t find any joy in being surrounded by people just for the sake of it. I prefer one-on-one conversations, a walk at sunset, or a quiet night where I can write, reflect, or simply exist.
And maybe that’s why I often feel out of sync with my time. It’s strange to think I belong to so-called “Gen Z” because, honestly, I hardly ever see myself in the way it lives. These days, it feels like there’s a massive divide between those who live too much - or try to live everything intensely - and those who live very little, at least in the social sense. On one side, there are people who want to go out every day, drink until they forget, dance until they drop, and repeat the cycle week after week. On the other, there are those who prefer to stay home or, when they do go out, look for calm, quiet, intimate moments. I feel like I belong to that second group, even if that sometimes means being alone.
More than that, I find it incredibly hard to meet people who think the same way or who want to go deeper than just the s
urface. Someone who dreams big but actually fights for it. Someone who appreciates silence, who feels at ease reading, who finds beauty in words and introspection. I write. And I write a lot. Writing is how I make sense of the world - and of myself. But I rarely come across someone my age who values that, or even has the patience to try to understand it.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m just looking in the wrong places. Maybe I am. But other times I think: maybe people I could have real connections with are genuinely that rare. And the answer I keep finding, as harsh as it may be, is that maybe they are. The truth is, it’s much easier to follow the crowd. To jump on trends, download the apps, adopt the behaviours that promise quick pleasure and easy validation. Living slowly, deeply, and with purpose is, in a way, swimming against the current.
It’s like being at a concert where everyone’s dancing to a song you can’t even hear. And in the middle of it all, you’re trying to figure out whether you should learn the moves or just stand still and try to find a different melody.
What I keep asking myself - and maybe what you ask yourself too - is: is it possible to overcome this sense of incompatibility without changing who I am? Can I feel more connected, more understood, closer to someone, without having to give up what I love, what I value, who I am?
I believe the answer is yes. But it takes time. And patience. Because finding people who resonate at your frequency is like finding diamonds in a world full of glass. It takes persistence. It takes not giving up on who you are just because you haven’t yet found someone who gets it. It takes showing up in the places that nourish you, even if you go alone. It takes writing, reading, dreaming big - knowing that someone might be reading from the shadows.
There are more people like you. But like you, they’re also hiding from the noise. They don’t like putting themselves out there. They don’t force connections. And maybe that’s why it takes longer for them to show up. But that doesn’t mean they’re not out there. And when they do appear, you’ll realize it was worth the wait.
In the end, changing who you are should never be the price you pay to feel less alone. Your essence is your greatest strength. And sooner or later, someone will recognize it - and they’ll be grateful you never gave up on it.
But tell me… do you really believe we don’t have to give up who we are, or am I just a hopeless dreamer?
I’m 20 years old. Right now, I have no social media, I don’t watch short-form videos, and I don’t relate to most of the content I see floating around online. I enjoy the occasional alcoholic drink, but I don’t like clubs or noisy places. I don’t find any joy in being surrounded by people just for the sake of it. I prefer one-on-one conversations, a walk at sunset, or a quiet night where I can write, reflect, or simply exist.
And maybe that’s why I often feel out of sync with my time. It’s strange to think I belong to so-called “Gen Z” because, honestly, I hardly ever see myself in the way it lives. These days, it feels like there’s a massive divide between those who live too much - or try to live everything intensely - and those who live very little, at least in the social sense. On one side, there are people who want to go out every day, drink until they forget, dance until they drop, and repeat the cycle week after week. On the other, there are those who prefer to stay home or, when they do go out, look for calm, quiet, intimate moments. I feel like I belong to that second group, even if that sometimes means being alone.
More than that, I find it incredibly hard to meet people who think the same way or who want to go deeper than just the s
urface. Someone who dreams big but actually fights for it. Someone who appreciates silence, who feels at ease reading, who finds beauty in words and introspection. I write. And I write a lot. Writing is how I make sense of the world - and of myself. But I rarely come across someone my age who values that, or even has the patience to try to understand it.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m just looking in the wrong places. Maybe I am. But other times I think: maybe people I could have real connections with are genuinely that rare. And the answer I keep finding, as harsh as it may be, is that maybe they are. The truth is, it’s much easier to follow the crowd. To jump on trends, download the apps, adopt the behaviours that promise quick pleasure and easy validation. Living slowly, deeply, and with purpose is, in a way, swimming against the current.
It’s like being at a concert where everyone’s dancing to a song you can’t even hear. And in the middle of it all, you’re trying to figure out whether you should learn the moves or just stand still and try to find a different melody.
What I keep asking myself - and maybe what you ask yourself too - is: is it possible to overcome this sense of incompatibility without changing who I am? Can I feel more connected, more understood, closer to someone, without having to give up what I love, what I value, who I am?
I believe the answer is yes. But it takes time. And patience. Because finding people who resonate at your frequency is like finding diamonds in a world full of glass. It takes persistence. It takes not giving up on who you are just because you haven’t yet found someone who gets it. It takes showing up in the places that nourish you, even if you go alone. It takes writing, reading, dreaming big - knowing that someone might be reading from the shadows.
There are more people like you. But like you, they’re also hiding from the noise. They don’t like putting themselves out there. They don’t force connections. And maybe that’s why it takes longer for them to show up. But that doesn’t mean they’re not out there. And when they do appear, you’ll realize it was worth the wait.
In the end, changing who you are should never be the price you pay to feel less alone. Your essence is your greatest strength. And sooner or later, someone will recognize it - and they’ll be grateful you never gave up on it.
But tell me… do you really believe we don’t have to give up who we are, or am I just a hopeless dreamer?
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