Is it enough to want to get it?

"Everything happens for a reason."
"If you want it badly enough, you can do it."
"Hard work always pays off."

  Phrases like these are repeated to exhaustion in self-help books, motivational talks, social media posts, podcasts, and - unfortunately - in conversations with people who understand little about the reality most of us live in. The idea that success depends solely on willpower and hard work might sound beautiful at first glance, but in practice, it's a dangerous fallacy. And worse: a fallacy that perpetuates inequality and blames those who have no fault at all.
  The first major problem lies in who tends to say these things. Often, they come from people whose stories are full of “I started from nothing”... except that “nothing” is relative. Children of stable families, with access to quality education, privileged social networks, and emotional and financial stability - who conveniently leave all that out and only highlight the part where “they woke up early and worked hard”. As if that were it. As if it were fair to compare the effort of someone who grew up with everything handed to them and someone who has to fight for every single opportunity.
  The idea of meritocracy - that whoever deserves it, achieves it - is dangerous because it assumes we all started from the same place. And we didn’t. Some began at the starting line. Others, a hundred meters behind, carrying weight on their backs. And then there are those who didn’t even have the privilege of knowing there was a race to begin with.
  When people say “if you want it, you’ll make it”, the implication is that anyone who didn’t make it just didn’t want it enough. But what about those who tried again and again and never got the chance? What about those who gave up on their dreams because they had to be realistic - if they wanted to eat? Are they lazy? Or victims of a system that always favors the same people?
  These motivational speeches ignore the social, economic, and emotional structures that shape our path. They ignore the luck of being born in a favorable context, of meeting the right person, of being in the right place at the right time.
And when luck, privilege, or context are left out, we build a picture of success that feels magical - but is profoundly unfair.
  Then comes the crueler side of forced positivity. The kind that tells you to always smile, think positively, and never complain. The kind that says you’re where you are because you chose it - or because you didn’t “manifes
t” success hard enough. A type of positivity that silences pain, invalidates emotion, and deepens the guilt of those who already feel like failures. Because according to that logic, if your life isn’t going well… it’s your fault.
  But did those at the top really think more positively than you? Or did they have more doors open to them - doors they might not even realize were closed to others?
  This is where we need to talk about privilege. And not just financial privilege.
There are emotional privileges - like growing up in a safe, loving, supportive environment - social ones - like having friends or family in influential positions - and cultural ones - like belonging to a group favored by society in terms of gender, race, or sexual orientation. All of this matters. Tremendously.
  Worst of all is when someone who had all these privileges uses the exception to justify the rule. “Look at that person who made it out of poverty - you can too!” - as if the exception erases all those who tried and didn’t make it - not because they didn’t try hard enough, but because they never had the right conditions.
It’s like watching someone cross an ocean on a ship and yelling from above: “If I made it, you can too! Just swim harder!” - while the rest are drowning without even knowing how to swim.
  The truth is: effort isn’t always enough. Wanting something isn’t always enough. And repeating these clichés isn’t just pointless - it’s dishonest.
Is our belief in meritocracy truly motivating... or just making things worse?

Part 1/2