Can men and women be “just friends”?

  For a long time, I’ve heard – and still hear – comments that seem to come from a parallel reality, as if we’re stuck in an old, repetitive storyline. One of them is the idea that a heterosexual man and woman can’t have a genuine friendship without romantic or sexual interest getting involved. As if it were impossible to have a true connection between two people of different genders without one of them wanting “something more.”
  Some say that in these kinds of friendships, “there’s always one who feels something,” or that “sooner or later someone falls in love.” Others – in what I find to be an even more outdated view – claim that women befriend men seeking male validation, and men befriend women hoping for an opening to something sexual. That kind of thinking is limiting, unfair, and above all, sad.
  Sad because it’s rooted in the belief that people are always a means to an end, whether that end is approval or pleasure. And even sadder because it shows just how many people have never had the privilege of experiencing a pure friendship – one without hidden motives or expectations – with someone of the opposite sex. But I have. Not only have I had it, I still have it – and I hold those friendships with the deepest pride and affection.
  My friendship with my chosen sister has lasted almost seven years, out of the nearly twenty I’ve lived. We’d been in the same class since primary school, but we only really started talking in eighth grade, when we discovered – on the way home – that we shared a lot of the same interests. Since then, our connection grew and solidified in a way that doesn’t depend on being in the same school, city, or stage of life. Today, we study in different places, but none of that has shaken the strength of our bond. On the contrary – it’s proof that it’s real.
  We’ve never faced direct prejudice, but of course, the jokes came – even from our parents. Comments like “you two should date” or “when’s the wedding?” are common. For many adults (and young people too), it’s almost impossible to imagine closeness, care, and attention without romance or desire in the mix. As if everything needs to have a second intention, a hidden plan.
  And maybe that’s why so many are suspicious: they’ve never lived anything like this. Many men, for instance, can’t even picture a close relationship that isn’t sexualized. I speak from experience: it’s hard to find guys my age with whom I can have deep or meaningful conversations. In general, there’s a lack of emotional maturity and a tendency towards shallow, empty topics. Sure, there are exceptions – but they’re rare. And maybe that’s also why my strongest and most transformative friendships are with women.
  Those friendships helped me grow. They taught me to see the world differently, to communicate better, to listen more, and to look at myself with more honesty. If I had kept the mindset I had five years ago – like so many others still do – I probably wouldn’t have been able to maintain those relationships. They have been, and still are, a reason to keep becoming a better version of myself.
  To anyone who doubts these kinds of friendships can exist, I leave you with a challenge: try seeing people for what they can bring to your life in the long run – not just for fleeting pleasures. There’s nothing wrong with seeking romance or desire, of course. But those things don’t need to be part of every interaction. Not everyone who enters your life has to be a potential romantic partner. Sometimes, the best people you’ll meet are the ones you’ll never kiss – but with whom you’ll share silences, tears, victories, and most importantly, growth.
  And in the end, maybe the real question isn’t “is it possible?”, but rather: why do we still think it isn’t?