Growing up with siblings: rivalry or unity?

  When people talk about siblings, most tend to picture closeness, shared games, a few arguments over the TV remote, and, in the end, that feeling of “a love that lasts a lifetime.” But the truth is, just like in any human relationship, growing up with siblings can be both a blessing and a major challenge - and the story doesn’t always follow the expected script.
 
Only Child vs. Having Siblings
 
  Being an only child is often associated with a quieter environment, undivided parental attention, and fewer domestic conflicts. On the other hand, it can come with a certain loneliness, fewer chances to develop social skills at home, and potentially a heavier sense of responsibility.
 Growing up with siblings, meanwhile, might mean sharing, cooperating, and building memories together - but also rivalry, constant comparisons, and competition for attention. And all of this depends heavily on the family dynamics, the personalities involved, and the experiences lived.
 
The Perspective of Someone Who Lived Both Realities
 
  I speak from experience. I’m three years younger than my brother and, for as long as I can remember, our home was anything but the image of a healthy sibling relationship. My brother got into a lot of trouble - and I’m not sure whether it stemmed from our toxic relationship with our biological mother or something else entirely. What I do know is that from an early age, our parents struggled a lot to manage him. He spent more time grounded than free, and I was the one who, as a child, begged them to let him play with me - part out of a need for attention, part as a way to diffuse the tension.
 Over time, I even took on a kind of protective role - I was the one who looked after him when we were alone, especially during the holidays. Contrary to what you might expect, I grew up in an environment where the comparisons between us we
re constant… but always unfavourable to him, since there were very few good grades or behaviours on his side. I even remember a professional in the field of psychology once saying I’d end up following in his footsteps. (Spoiler alert: I didn’t.)
 When he went to live in a religious institution - a place for young people with behavioural issues or without family support - my reality shifted. Around the age of thirteen (and it’s only while writing this that I realize how young I really was, because I had the impression I was already older), I began living as an only child. And for the first time, I understood what that meant. The atmosphere at home became lighter, without the constant tension. I felt my parents’ attention focus more on me and my world. At last, I had space to grow without constantly being on high alert.
 
Rivalry, Bond… or Survival?
 
  Not all siblings grow up as close friends. Sometimes, the experience feels more like an emotional survival process. That doesn’t mean there’s no love - but rather that living together can be draining, and in some cases, it can even shape or hinder our development.
 Growing up with siblings doesn’t guarantee a balanced childhood. And being an only child doesn’t automatically mean loneliness or selfishness. What truly matters is the quality of the relationships, the bonds we create, and the space we have (or don’t have) to become who we are.
 If there’s one thing I’ve learned from living both realities, it’s that every family is a world of its own. There are no formulas. But there’s always room to understand what we’ve lived through - and from there, grow.
 And you… which reality did you grow up in?